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Wrestling with Sass

Sassy commentary from a failed journalist

Friday List #17

  • The University of Aberystwyth Old College was built in 1791 and looks like a classic straight-from-a-fantasy novel castle. Pretty, everyone go and look at it – Look here.
  • 1920’s Shitposting made me laugh. Here.
  • What YouTube Channel is Great to Binge was a good /r/AskReddit question recently and it had lots of great recommendations. Binge here.
  • This recommendation on /r/AskReddit (again, I know) about how to your correct posture is a nice exercise of habit that has really made my back feel better. Get better posture here. 
  • Check out the 2017 Emmy Nominees, I usually use this as a good starting point to watch some new TV and you should too because everything on this list is banging. Get inspired here.
  • American Pie isn’t American, it was invented in the England. But what American’s did invent was putting a slice of orange coloured ‘cheddar’ cheese, well so I thought. Turns out England invited that too. Be grossed out here.
  • Get stressed out about tapas? Me too. The Economics of Dining as a Couple explains the political stages of eating together as a couple, and how we should all be ‘food communists’. Read here.
  • Mary Shelley would meet her boyfriend, and later husband, Percy Bysshe Shelley at the grave of her mother Mary Wollstonecraft. It’s also where she lost her virginity because Mary Shelley is fucking hardcore. Be scandalised here. Be scandalised here. 

Mary and Percy began meeting each other secretly at Mary Wollstonecraft’s grave in St Pancras Churchyard, and they fell in love—she was nearly 17, he nearly 22. On 26 June 1814, Shelley and Godwin declared their love for one another as Shelley announced he could not hide his “ardent passion”, leading her to in a “sublime and rapturous moment” to say she felt the same way; on either that day or the next, Godwin lost her virginity to Shelley, which tradition claims happened in the cemetery. Godwin described herself as attracted to Shelley’s “wild, intellectual, unearthly looks”

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Friday List #16

  • Read the awesome article How We Dress Women For The End Of The World, especially prominent as it seems the trend of dressing like Handmaiden’s at protests is becoming more prominent. Read here. 
  • Never heard of Workaway before but basically, you work somewhere for room + board and it looks pretty rad. My love of Stardew Valley makes me want to give up everything and go work on a farm. Work here. 
  • Loved @Jumpgyal’s Twitter thread of words in other languages that explain emotions we can’t. I like the German word ‘Mauerbauertraurigkeit: The inexplicable urge to push people away, even close friends who you really like.’ Read it here. 
  • Did you know you can go to Poland and take part in huge LARPING events for like five days and it looks fucking cool? There’s a lot in Poland but Oldtown Festival looks like a rad Fallout/Bioshock nightmare. Go here. 
  • This article from McSweeneys made me laugh. ‘AN ORAL HISTORY OF QUENTIN TARANTINO AS TOLD TO ME BY MEN I’VE DATED’. Read here. 
  • Peruse a list of ‘folly’s’ i.e. buildings that serve no purpose other than for decoration. Read here.

Where to get Cider in Berlin

Cider is amazing. However, Germany has been slow to catch on to its amazingness. Which makes sense, the beer-drinking country of the world isn’t going to give up its best asset easy. However, in the past few years, cider has become more prominent. That’s not me saying that I’ve only lived here for two months after leaving the cider-drinking capital of the world – Bristol. But long-term Berliners have noticed a sizable increase in cider availability in bars, supermarkets and spätis. So here’s a list of bars I’ve managed to get that sweet, sweet nectar.

  1. Das Gift

das-gift_new@sigrid-malmgren

Literally meaning “what’s your poison?” in German. Obviously, a Scottish themed bar is going to have UK exports, as well as Buckfast and an excellent Scottish breakfast Das Gift also stocks Aspall in bottles. A bit pricey (well for Berlin) but hey, the bottle looks fancy as hell so you won’t feel too ripped off.
Donaustraße 119, 12043 Berlin

2. Tristeza

Image result for tristeza berlin

Sporting a queer punk collective vibe Tristeza has rad outdoor seating and is somehow as dark in the day as it is in the night thanks to its moody lighting. Best of all, they serve Strongbow on tap in Steins, now if you’ve gone without cider in a while then it’s likely you’re not going to turn up your nose at a full pint of the cold stuff.
Pannierstr.5, 12047 Berlin 

3. Ä

Image result for ae bar neukolln

Weserstraße is full of rad bars but A is fairly unpretentious apart from its affinity with being pitch black apart from a few precariously positioned candles. It’s another place that has obviously been sold the fancy Aspall in a fancy bottle by a travelling cider salesman, again a tad overpriced but it’s served ice cold.
Weserstraße 40, 12045 Berlin

4. UnterRock 

Image result for unterrock berlin

A nice little spot where I saw Non-Canon play some acoustic jams also serves the Berlin made, OBC Berliner cider which comes in three times Classic, Rose and Strong (it’s only 5%) The bartender also serves you your drinks and you pay a tab at the end, something that seemed to be standard in every bar I went to a few years ago but seems to have fallen out of fashion – or I’m going to less classy places.
Fürbringerstraße 20A, 10961 Berlin

5. Banja Luka

Image result for banja luka berlin

Just opposite Music & Peace which is a rad music venue is Banja Luka. A great hidden beer garden for those who don’t like a more rowdy crowd Banja Luka is a great place to take people on a sunny day. Serving another Berlin brewed cider Ostmost, which comes in two styles Wild and Dry.

Falckensteinstraße 1-2, 10997 Berlin

6. Monster Ronson’s Ichiban Karaoke

Image result for monster ronsons

Ignore their terrible website Monster Ronson’s is really awesome. Just opposite Warschauer Strasse, you’ll find a whole host of events going on, I’ve only ever been on their drag nights on a Tuesday hosted by PANSY but I’ve heard from others that their hosted Karaoke nights are pretty spectacular. They serve cocktails and bottles of ‘Golden Apple’ Strongbow which isn’t dry like regular Strongbow but pretty sweet, so prepare for that sugar headache.
Warschauer Str. 34, 10243 Berlin

7. HOME

Image result for home bar berlin

Full disclosure I haven’t been here but someone told me they serve Aspall on tap and their menu appears to back it up. They also have a full range of craft beer and other ales on offer so you won’t feel bad when you drag your friends here so you can have a pint ‘o apples. They also do pub quizzes, DJ nights, the lot in the heart of Fredrichstein.
Neue Bahnhofstraße 23, 10245 Berlin

This is an ongoing list, so if you have any suggestions then comment below!

Friday List #15

  • The bedshelfie is fucking genius and I need one immediately, you know if I wasn’t poor and spending my morning on boring things. Buy it here. 
  • My German boss asked me what ‘mufti’ meant in the UK and I answered that it referred to Mufti Day, when you don’t have to wear your school uniform to school. He then asked what it meant and I replied ‘no idea’. Apparently, it’s similar to saying ‘civvies’ for civilian clothes when military personality are out of uniform. Read about it here. 
  • The Isles of Scilly off of Cornwall had a 335-year war with the Netherlands because some person declared it and Scilly realised it had never been called off, making it one of the longest and bloodless wars ever. Read more here.
  • A great AskReddit thread about the most useful online certifications to get, I’ve still never got my Google Analytics certification even though I use it constantly, some other good resources in here. Get learnin’ here. 
  • Pop Kultur is an awesome looking festival in Kreuzberg in August if you’re interested in going hit me up. Buy tickets here. 
  • I’ve slowly become obsessed with The Hermetic Order of Golden Dawn and their activities in the UK and really want this book but it’s a lot of dollah to spend on something so ridiculous, but it’ll be on my wishlist for a while. Read about it here.

Friday List #14

On a Sunday? Yeah, I’m breaking all the rules/was too busy on Friday to post.

  • Someone mentioned Near Dark to me recently and it looks amazing. A western cult vampire flick? I’m sold. Read about it here.
  • I had never heard of the Kansas experiment, it’s insane a theoretical economic idea can be inflicted on an entire state. Oh, and everyone should subscribe to The Nib’s newsletter because it’s amazing. Read more here.
  • Alice Kyteler was the first person accused of witchcraft in Ireland, her Wikipedia is amazing and I’m amazed a film hasn’t been shot about her yet. Read about her witchy ways here.
  • The New York Times ran an article with the 25 Best Films of the 21st Century – it was controversial to say the list, some films I liked, some I didn’t, most I’ve never heard of and some real, real surprising additions. Judge here.

Friday List #13

  • Read Jay Duplass’ article about having a on-screen romance with a transwoman, the first non-fetishised romance of its kind on Transparent. Read here.
  • Even though Labour made great headway today, the Tories still control a lot of our lives so buy this to remind yourself what we should be doing. Fuck the Tories. 
  • If I could buy everything in the School for Life I would but I really like these confidence cards. Buy here.
  • Even though it was an advertising campaign I’d love to drive the Romantic Road through Bavaria and Baden-Wurttemberg at some point. Discover here.
  • The most remote and isolated island in the UK is Foula, with only around 30 inhabitants. With a strong sense of Norse tradition they still celebrate the old Julian Calendar with Yule (Christmas) on January 6th and Newerday (New Years Eve) on the 13th. Read here.

Friday List #12

  • There’s an autonomous Freetown in the middle of Copenhagen called Christiania. Previously a military base in the 1970’s through no real organisation it became a hippie commune that practised yoga and people smoked a lot of weed. It’s now a big tourist attraction and is also home to the ‘The Gay House’, a meeting place for LGBTQI and parties.  Read more here. 
  • If I had a stupid amount of money this is the kind of thing I would spend it on, which is ridiculous, I could make this. Here. 
  • Another private 1960’s hippy commune, a couple from New York decided to set up in the Grenadines and built their houses from whale bones. You can rent them out nowadays. It’s called Moonhole by the way. Read more here.
  • You can float around in a salt bath and listen to underwater Techno in Berlin because of course you can. The Liquidrone looks mental but something I will need to try at some point because of reasons. Check it out here.
  • My room is currently very bare and very huge and I’m kind of terrified to do anything to it as I have no sense of design at all. I often read Swoonworthy which is my blog of choice to get a clue for what I want my interiors to look like. Take a look, smart lady

 

 

 

May the Road Rise with You

Six weeks in Berlin

So still here, haven’t fucked off back to England weeping about accidentally buying raw sausage meat instead of pate.

Okay, that did happen once and it was delicious but it fuck up my stomach for a good four days. Yeah, raw pork meat is a thing here.

After a few weeks and with the help with a much more capable flatmate I’ve managed to find supermarkets that sell cider, different types of shampoo and conditioner, bacon and vegetables that don’t cost a small fortune.

New supermarket rankings:

  1. Netto
  2. Bio Company
  3. Eurogida
  4. REWE

The job is going great, almost too great, sometimes getting wild imposter syndrome where I assume at some point a scary higher-up figure will come to my desk and go ‘Lol no one does this for a job, this was an elaborate practical joke, we will now hunt you and other confused expats for food.’

However, I have gotten lazy with my new friendship making, in Bristol I think I could say I had five solid friends I could rely on to come to the pub and have a pint with me and a few outside of Bristol where I know I jump on a train and hang with in case everything got a bit much. So I think I went ‘Okay I have maybe three people outside of work, five if I made a lot of effort’

I don’t know the etiquette of asking random people in work for a drink, especially since the people I’ve chatted to for a long period of time have been dudes. Do I send a message going ‘hello we have a conversation that was fine but a bit awkward cause I can’t be my real self at work for like six months cause if my personality was a word cloud it would spell out RUDE AGGY FUNCTIONING ALCOHOLIC PRETENDS SHE KNOWS JIU JITSU – oh and I have a boyfriend so I’m not trying to fuck you also lol you are way out of my league anyway’

I’m going to try and go to a board game night tomorrow, maybe a meet-up on Friday and I may try and speak to others at the drag viewing I usually go to on a Tuesday. Perhaps I should make a badge ‘I want to hang out pls help me’

I imagine when I get my jiu jitsu stuff maybe I can rope some people into the office into coming, or make friends with some big burly MMA lads.

There are almost too many cool events happening to keep up, I also want to scope out some indie bars/punk bars so I can potentially pitch a DJ night, I miss playing music to people who were annoyed by it.

Speaking of, in typical expat wanker nonsense since I’ve moved to Berlin I’ve listened to nothing but Alternative 80’s bangers (clock the title, comment below with the answer to win nothing!).

I’ve also discovered I can wear sunglasses without feeling nauseous or wandering into the street without my normal glasses – something I never did in the UK even though I spoke the language and I knew what side of the street cars drove on. I also got out my legs for the first time in like five years, again something I did less in a city where there were ‘generally’ less men hanging around on street corners to letch at me. Odd how I seem to be a bit more fearless cause when I get shouted at I can go ‘EH YOU FUCKING WHAT M8’ in my most scary British accent.

I really, really miss my cat. I have a tattoo of her on my leg and it’s basically made me realise that I should never get anyone I care about tattooed on me in any way – you know unless I can’t see it. I keep looking at how long cats live for and trying to work out if whether I’ll be over here and she’ll die. Urgh what a bummer right?

Anyway,  things are going okay:

I have fuck loads of paperwork I should be doing (cause Germany amirite)

I need to write letters to my family but I can’t find stamps.

I want to go swimming but I need to build up the courage.

I need to take out my camera more, I have crazy good insurance on it.

It’s too hot all the time.

I keep waking up with swollen eyes, apparently, it’s cause I’m eating too much salt.

Green Giant gave me a shitty answering about bulk buying heart of palm to Germany, I’m going to call them so stay tuned for that

 

 

Friday List #11

We’re back!

  • Did you know the Hellfire Club isn’t just an evil organisation in X-Men, it was also a club organised by socially and economically well-off types to look at porn, get wasted and practise occult magic. Sounds cool, you can visit their meeting place as well. Read more about it here. 
  • My favourite part of the Hellfire Club is the organiser Sir Francis Dashwood.

“The downfall of Dashwood’s Club was more drawn-out and complicated. In 1762 the Earl of Bute appointed Dashwood his Chancellor of the Exchequer, despite Dashwood being widely held to be incapable of understanding “a bar bill of five figures”. (Dashwood resigned the post the next year, having raised a tax on cider which caused near-riots).”

  • On the 29th of June the small town of Reus, Catalan hosts a festival of St. Peter where the let off fireworks in the street and have people dressed as giants who dance in the town square. The Wikipedia makes it sound like a mental acid trip. Read more here.

“During the procession, from the bell-tower, the Toc General de Festa (an event in which people ring a big bell) is performed. Afterwards, the Seguici returns to St. Peter’s Priory and at the time the Image enters the church, all festive elements burst into dance at the same time. As a culmination to the festivities, the gegants bicentenaris (“bicentennial giants”) and the Águila (“The eagle”) return to the Square to perform the last dances, followed by a bunch of demons who are in charge of closing the festivity.”

  • It’s Black Lives Matter month in Berlin in June, there’s a lot of awesome things going on, I’m going to try and go see I Am Not Your Negro and Hidden Figures at Freiluftkino Kreuzberg. Full programme here. 
  • In my old apartment on Opplenerstrasse, for some reason when I walked through the courtyard it made the exact same noise of the walking sound in Vampire The Masquerade: Bloodlines – one of my favourite video games. Felt like my brain was melting but it was a weirdly enjoyable experience every time I noticed it.

 

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